Dealing with Let Downs

It seems funny to talk about disappointment, or let downs, when discussing the topic of wedding planning. While most of the time during our ten month engagement was happy we also experienced some frustrating things.

Here are two things I learned quickly:

Everyone will have their own opinion of how you should do x, y, and z. Ultimately, do what will make you happy. This is your day.

Feelings will get hurt. Yes, you love all of your friends and family. But choosing participants for your wedding party can be tough and tricky. 

Stephen and I had to give much thought into who to ask to be in our wedding party. This was not an easy task for us. There were many friends, old and new, and family that we wished we could have included. That being said, we drew the line at eight on each side. It still makes me sad that feelings were hurt over this, however, this does not change how much we love everyone in our lives. 

On the flip side, I experienced a crazy, sad situation with one of the girls I had originally asked to be in our wedding party. She was very excited about our wedding...in the beginning. We were close, talked often, but then I stopped hearing from her. I hadn't even updated her with many wedding plans yet, so I was excited when we had plans to meet for dinner one night. She text messaged me five minutes before dinner saying she was bringing a friend (that I did not know; normally this would have been fine, but I hadn't seen her and really wanted to catch up one-on-one). The whole situation was just awkward from the moment the three of us sat down at the dinner table at McMenamins. My (then) friend brought up the wedding subject just so she could break her news to me. She was not going to be in my wedding and she really didn't have a reason why. Ouch, okay. She made up something quick about her dad, and I knew it wasn't money reasons. Also, she had been in 3 weddings the previous year so I was crushed to find out she didn't want to be in mine. I was just hurt and very mad that she brought someone along I didn't even know to break the news to me. Embarrassing. This was one of my friends that was also a good friend of Stephen's too. Right away thoughts flashed in my head. I worried about having uneven numbers in our wedding party. What were people going to think? Why was one of my best friends doing this to me?

This night was the end of our friendship. A few months later I tried emailing her about her real reasons for not being my friend and ultimately in our wedding. She responded with a bunch of nonsense and even stranger excuses then before. I was hurt but I chose not to focus on it. I was getting married and she wasn't ruining our big day.

As sad as I was when my friend backed out on being in our wedding,  looking back on our wedding day I couldn't be happier that she wasn't there. Not in a mean way, but if she didn't want to be there then we didn't want her there anyway. Plus, our wedding day was perfect with the 16 people we had in our wedding party, and I wouldn't have it any other way then how it ended up. 

Now I find it enjoyable to reflect on our experiences that led us to our wedding day. I am happy for the good, bad, and everything in between.

5 Question Friday

After a short break for the holidays, 5 question Friday is back! This is a fun link up and I look forward to seeing what the questions are going to be each week. Hop on over to Mama M's blog to find out more & join in .

1. What is the weather like where you are and do you like it?

I live in Oregon where, yes, it really does rain about 10 out of the 12 months of the year. But, I don't really mind it much. We have been extra blessed lately with dry weather. Today the sunshine was out and if I had planned ahead I would have taken the kids I nanny for to the zoo for the day. It is chilly though, and I don't like the cold much.

2. When you're sick what do you seek comfort from?

I am a baby when I'm sick. I turn to my husband for comfort. I haven't been really sick (stomach flu sick...knock on wood) but if I was I could see myself turning to/calling my parents for comfort too.

3. What do you need to do before the end of the month?

I can't really think of anything I need to do besides pay bills and show up to work when I am supposed to. Yep, that's about it. I do want to start working on our wedding album soon though.

4. Have you ever served on a jury?

Negative. I was summoned for jury duty right when I turned 18, but was sent home when they were weeding through people to choose who would participate in the jury. They probably thought I was too young, and I was.

5. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

A dolphin! Because they are adorable and very smart. When we were on our honeymoon we stayed two nights of our trip at the Hilton on the big island. We spent quite awhile just sitting and watching the dolphins- it was so fun. One of them was pregnant and due to give birth at any time. Unfortunately, we weren't there to see the baby dolphin. They sure do fascinate me.

Source


Thanks for stopping by! Be sure to leave a comment and let me know you were here. Happy Friday!

It's OK....

...that we waited until Monday night (yes, the 2nd of January) to take our tree down.

...that all of our ornaments are laying on our dining table awaiting the return to their boxes. Sigh. Maybe they will pack themselves?

...that I am completely forgot my morning routine on Tuesday morning when I had to return to work after having 11 days off.

...to decide I was going to eat less/better starting yesterday, only to give in when hubby offered me a glass of wine last night

...to love couponing!

...to be excited about the post series I started yesterday that sums up the details of  our wedding planning adventure. 

...that I am excited I discovered Caffee Mistos at Starbucks. Errr actually that my husband told me about them. Hello, Grande double pump toffee nut nonfat Caffe Misto :) Tastes just like a latte but I don't have to feel guilty..

...to be excited that the babies (that I nanny for) are currently sleeping. This break called nap time is welcomed with open arms around here.

Thanks for stopping by! If you are a new reader from Brunch with Amber, welcome! Please "follow" my blog   or leave a comment so I can check your blog out as well :)

Asking Our Wedding Party

One of my favorite parts of the whole wedding process was how I asked my girls to be my bridesmaids/maid of honor.

I created shadow boxes for each of my eight bridesmaids which included a poem, a picture of her and I together, and embellishments.  The best part was personally delivering them and seeing each of their faces light up! I couldn't wait to have them all made and given out. 

Here are a few of the ones I made (I wish I had taken better pictures; sorry).

I used three different poems for the gift depending on who it was for (sister-to-be, my own sister, maid of honor, or friend).

Here are the poems:

For Sister-to-be

The day that I marry, our families will blend,
you'll be my sister and also my friend.

It's so very special to know you will be,
a part of this day, a bridesmaid for me.

It's just the beginning, of our brand new life,
as your brother and I, become man and wife.

And nothing would give me more joy & pride,
than to have you standing right there by my side.

Will you be my Bridesmaid?

For Friend

The day, the dress
The bride, the groom
The joy, the tears
Will all come so soon

Professing true love
To my husband-to-be
With family and friends
All watching me

I hope the sun will be
Shining down,
Keep your fingers crossed
That I'll fit in my gown

But there's just one more thing
That there needs to be,
And that's to have you
Standing with me!

Will you be my bridesmaid?

For Maid of Honor

I wish that I could tell you, exactly what it means,
to have a special friend, who has shared in all my dreams.

Now on the day I marry, you will be the one to stand
as my maid of honor, near me close at hand.

Of memories we've shared, this day just would not be,
the one that I had dreamed of, without you next to me.

And though our lives keep changing, I will still look forward to,
all the many things we'll share, as only dear friends do.Thank You for Everything.

The girls were so surprised and loved them. I was so excited to begin wedding planning after I saw how the girls reacted to this gift! Unfortunately I can't say I wrote these wonderful, fun poems. I found them back in 2010 on this site. 

Stephen, on the other hand, is a typical guy and preferred to just asked his friends straight up to be in the wedding. I felt like it was his decision how he wanted to do so, so I let him decide.

Next I will talk about people feeling left out and also my story of losing one of my bridesmaids and her friendship. It is fun for me to reflect on all the memories and the highs and lows of our wedding planning experience. 

To read our engagement story go  here.

Our Engagement Story

I've been thinking lately: sometimes I do miss wedding planning. Don't get me wrong- I am completely thrilled with how our Big Day turned out, but I thoroughly enjoyed making every single part of it special for us.


Our wedding was July 30, 2011. So, we have been married approximately five months and some days now. 


I thought it would be fun to break down my wedding planning process into (a number of) different posts to show how I planned different parts of our wedding (on a budget).


Stephen proposed to me on September 25, 2011. We had a ten month engagement and I think it was the perfect amount of time. Any longer, I would have gone crazy. Any shorter, I don't think I could have planned a wedding and stayed sane.


Here is our engagement story:

I  had just returned home from visiting my grandparents in Boise the day that Stephen popped the question. I knew that sometime soon we would be getting engaged, but he completely surprised me with the proposal. 

When I arrived home after my vacation and opened my bedroom door, the first thing I noticed was Stephen, all dressed up, down on his knee. 

I dropped all the luggage I had been carrying and listened as Stephen asked me if I would marry him. And, of course, I said "yes!"

I looked around my bedroom which was beautifully decorated. I had not left it in the most organized condition before I left town, and Stephen had completely put my room back in order. Around the room were eight vases of Stargazer Lillies with a note about our story in front of each vase. There were rose petals everywhere and he had a chilled bottle of champagne all ready so we could toast to our future. It was perfect, very perfect.

And finally, the happy, engaged couple:

Check back to read my next post about how I asked my bridesmaids to be in our wedding!

Happy New Year!

It was an odd feeling for me to see 2011 end because so much happened during the course of the year. 

1. Graduated from Oregon State University
2. Moved back to Portland
3. Started a new job
4. Got married
5. Learned how to live with a boy
6. Went to Hawaii
7. Met some awesome new friends
8. Visited my grandparents at Thanksgiving in Boise
9. and much more!

I know that 2011 will be a tough year to beat, but I am sure there will be many exciting new adventures in 2012!

We brought in the new year with some close friends of ours, Kevin and Carly. 

Another couple that they are friends with hung out for awhile with us too!

We had delicious drinks and finally figured out how to play Balderdash (very fun, by the way!). 

That is their adorable lab, Moose, in the picture with us.

We stayed the night there that night and woke up to find Kevin making us delicious breakfast burritos in the morning. 

Happy 2012!

Stream of Consciousness

I have been off work for 11 days now (with the exception of working one half day) and have become very used to sitting on my couch watching movies. This is all thanks to my mom who got us the perfect Christmas gift for two people with a break from work/school. One of the things she gave us was a 3 month pass to rent unlimited dvds, blu rays, or games at Blockbuster. We have been swapping them out and enjoying being able to catch up on many new releases we have yet to watch.

Tomorrow I return to work. Hubby went back to school today. It is going to be quite a shock waking up at 6am, but our bank account will thank me.

My wonderful mother-in-law met her New Year's resolution for the last year. and I am so proud. She walked/ ran 1,000 miles since December 31 of last year, and on that date this year she met her goal. Woohoo. She also lost 100 pounds in that time too.

Our tree is still up. And it's dead. Very dead. I really need to take the ornaments off so we can take it to the dumpster, but I haven't yet. 

I'm still not sure what my resolutions for this year are. I want to eat healthier. I want to start working out. I don't want to set anything too crazy because then I won't stick with it. I do not that I want to finish our honeymoon scrapbook and begin making our wedding album, though.

On New Years Eve I had the chance to see my wonderful friend Kylee. We met for frozen yogurt and spent time catching up on life. She is awesome.

Tonight there is a new episode of How I Met Your Mother on plus the season premier of Bachelor. Yeah, I'm excited.